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Put Down the Damn Tweezers: Five Thousand Years of Brow Regret

By Olive Higbee

Gwen Stefani, image courtesy of Harper’s BAZAR

The Brow Incident (A Rite of Passage)

There is one sentence every girl hears at least once in her life, regardless of background, tax bracket, or time zone:

“Don’t touch your eyebrows. Put down the damn tweezers.”

It is delivered with the urgency of someone who has lived through the Great Overplucking. Someone who has seen the archival photographs. Someone who remembers the early 2000s.

And yet.

Every generation ignores her.

There is always one afternoon — fluorescent bathroom lighting, magnifying mirror too close, ambition too large — where a young woman decides she knows better. The dye is mixed with reckless optimism. The plucking is liberal. The symmetry is theoretical. The plan is… nonexistent.

The result?

Crucial to the plot.
Traumatizing.
And somehow necessary.

Because the Brow Incident is not just cosmetic.

It is ceremonial.


The Brow Is Older Than Your Regret

Before tweezers.
Before Sephora.
Before the phrase “clean girl aesthetic.”

There were brows.

Ancient Egypt — The Divine Outline

In Ancient Egypt, brows were not merely groomed — they were ritualized. Both men and women darkened them heavily with kohl. The goal was not softness. It was clarity.

The eye — and by extension the brow — was sacred. Protection, power, divine symmetry. Think of Cleopatra: strong, elongated lines that extended the eye beyond its natural border. The brow became a continuation of cosmic geometry.

Here, the brow was not about femininity.

It was about divinity.

Cleopatra, image courtesy of WINK BEAUTY

Classical Greece & Rome — Moral Architecture

In Ancient Greece, a unibrow was considered beautiful and intelligent. A continuous brow suggested purity and seriousness. Women who lacked one sometimes filled the gap with pigment.

Beauty was philosophical. The brow was not decorative — it was a sign of virtue.

By the time of Ancient Rome, grooming became more structured, but the brow still signaled class and refinement. Excessive alteration, however, could suggest vanity.

Already, we see it:

Brows = morality + status + control.

Medieval Europe — The Disappearing Brow

In Medieval Europe, the brow almost vanished.

High foreheads were fashionable. Women plucked not only brows but also hairlines to create an elongated, ethereal appearance. The less brow visible, the more angelic the face.

Full brows were too earthy. Too bodily.

The ideal woman looked otherworldly — translucent, elevated, nearly fragile.

The brow, once divine in Egypt, was now erased to imply holiness.

image courtesy of Girl Museum

Japanese Geisha — The Painted Brow

In traditional Japanese beauty culture, particularly among Geisha, brows were often shaved and redrawn higher on the forehead. In earlier periods, married women even blackened their teeth and altered brows as a sign of status.

The brow became theatrical.

Intentional.

Symbolic.

Not natural — curated identity.

It was understood that the face could be redesigned to reflect role, not just biology.

Geisha, image courtesy of Britannica

Fast Forward: The Modern Brow Carousel

And then we reach the decades we think we invented.

We did not.

We simply renamed them.

1920s — The Tragic Arc

Clara Bow and her razor-thin, downward-sloping brows. Melancholy was seductive. Drama was femininity. Silent film required exaggerated expression — the brow carried emotion across the screen.

1950s — Controlled Sensuality

Marilyn Monroe softened the arch. Structured, but not severe. The brow said: I am desirable, but deliberate.

1980s — Power Brows

Brooke Shields made thickness aspirational. Full brows equaled youth, strength, confidence. Women in the workforce. Shoulders padded. Brows matched the energy.

Brooke Shields, image courtesy of Allure

1990s–2000s — Precision and Control

Under the glossy reign of Pamela Anderson, brows thinned again. Hyper-feminine, hyper-sculpted. The face became sleek, almost aerodynamic.

Many follicles did not survive this era.

Pamela Anderson, image courtesy of Us Weekly

2010s — The Bold Renaissance

Enter Cara Delevingne. Thick, almost confrontational brows. Structure reclaimed. The pendulum swung back.

Cara Delevingne, image courtesy of The Independent

2020s — Laminated Effortlessness

Brows brushed upward, frozen into feigned nonchalance. “I woke up like this” — except we absolutely did not.

Selena Gomez and Kylie Jenner, image from her Selena’s Instagram

Why They Change the Face So Completely

Because brows are not accessories.

They are emotional amplifiers.

Your brain processes them instantly as signals of:

  • Dominance
  • Warmth
  • Alertness
  • Youth
  • Severity
  • Innocence

A higher arch lifts the face into alertness or sharpness.
A straighter brow calms it.
Thin brows enlarge visible eyelid space, altering proportion.
Thick brows emphasize bone structure and strength.

The difference of millimeters shifts perceived personality.

Brows are architecture for expression.

And architecture shapes experience.


The Biological Betrayal

Now, the heartbreak.

And a biology lesson you probably slept through :/

Eyebrow hair has:

  • A short growth phase
  • A slow regeneration cycle
  • Limited follicles

Repeated plucking damages the follicle. Over time, it miniaturizes. Blood supply weakens. The growth phase shortens. Some hairs simply never return.

Brows are also sensitive to hormones — estrogen fluctuations, thyroid shifts, stress, nutritional changes. They respond to internal chaos faster than scalp hair does.

They are ancient.
They are symbolic.
And they are stubborn.


The Rite Remains

From Ancient Egypt to Medieval Europe to your mother’s bathroom in 2007, the brow has always been more than hair.

It is a signal.

Of divinity.
Of morality.
Of submission.
Of power.
Of rebellion.
Of youth.

So yes.

The Brow Incident is inevitable.

It connects you to queens, courtesans, saints, actresses, rebels, and geisha across thousands of years.

Some shaved them.
Some painted them.
Some erased them.
Some overplucked them into oblivion.

And every generation swore it was different.

It wasn’t.

The brow does not follow trends.

The brow reveals them.

And somewhere, in every decade, a mother is yelling:

Put down the tweezers.

History is watching…


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